My thoughts tell me that you do not need to look for that quietness in self-hypnosis or meditation if you are not of that mind to do so, especially if we already feel peace and quiet within. Our disquiet mostly comes from fear of being wrong, rejection or failure. I believe that if that feeling of not being good enough has been imprinted into our mind in our early childhood we search for meanings and answers to overcome our adversities, as we get older.
Is there a need to surrender and say I can’t do this? I don’t think so. Is there a need to understand the underlying dynamics and look for answers? I think there is.
The saying; “There are many paths to the same end.”, resonates with me here. There is even research that shows that people who are religious are no happier than people who aren’t. What makes happiness according to research was that are our basic human needs, part of which are to belong to a community that supports us and especially of like-minded people – be it your belief in religion, your golf club buddies, your therapy friends etc. Those that you have things in common with, creates happiness. However, in each group you will get a diverse people where you might have a main thing in common, yet many things you don’t. And so even within that commonality, you will gravitate towards certain people that will appear to support your theories.
As a person we wear many hats, again dependent on our self. As a mother I would be totally different with my child, then when I wear my business hat, or my therapist hat etc.
If unsure of what to do, there are many options. Colleagues, internet, books… but each of these is still the thoughts of each author, the same as this post. There is no such thing as ‘Scientific validated research’ even. That in itself in reality only means; “What we think is….” again the outcome of the authors of the research. And, many times after, that very research has been overturned by newer research, or the research has shown to be flawed, or even tampered with to make it what the author wants you to believe.
Hence, we have to become our own researcher. What I believe is only what I believe. Others may have come up with that same conclusion. As time moves on, we may find that more people reach the same conclusion, or that we were indeed wrong. Time and searching for answers usually supports or changes our views.
The main thing for me is to remember that I am the CEO of my own business (my business meaning ‘ME’). That I can listen, read, learn, and come up with my conclusions based on as much information that I have gathered. If I am wrong, the outcome of what I have put into place will give me a different outcome to what I had hoped. If I learn from that and change what I did the first time, I will get a different outcome. It is called ‘The law of Cause and Effect”. There is nothing wrong with being wrong – we hardly ever learn anything new by believing we have to be always right or perfect.
A Psychic who came to me for help once told me that I have about 12 people at one time being my guide and that I am Clairvoyant. My left-brain asks the question, is that where that person has put me in their perception of me? Is what seemingly appears to be a ‘knowing from a higher source’, more than thin-slicing information from the many clients that have taught me over 25 years and testing what comes up as a hypotheses? Does it matter which it is? To me it does not matter, for client centred therapy means that I work with what is real for the client.
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor in his search for meaning, (who brought out the therapy – Logotherapy – to find meaning and purpose in our life), tells us that there are many people who struggle every day for one reason or another. For some it is from birth, for others it is through some mishap during their life.
He reminds us that it is our ‘attitude’ that will determine what we do with it.
Another analogy – taken from Viktor Frankl; he gives us a mathematical equation to ‘Despair’
D = S-M
Despair is suffering without meaning –
Frankle says that giving a situation a different meaning, you can change tragedy into triumph.
The “Happiness Equation” suggested by Martin Seligman, an American based psychologist…
H = S + C + V
H = Happiness
S = Set range – (genetics about 50%)
C = Circumstances (8-15%)
V = Voluntary Control – (past, present, future)
I would exchange V for M (mind). V smacks of CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) and I know that hypnotherapy can change things instantly where you don’t need to control, as it releases this need.
I don’t either agree with the explanation of set point as determined by our genes, i.e. “this is supposed to change only slightly, if at all, as we get older”.
Supported and shown in brain plasticity in neuroscience – change your mind and you release new brain chemicals, and this I believe changes your cells and genes. You can even ‘fake it till you make it’ such as in attending ‘laughter classes’, and your brain releases the positive chemicals that bring you happiness and well being. What are you waiting for?
Tag:attitude, author, books, business, cause and effect, CEO, decision, disquiet, failure, fear, happiness, holocause survivor, internet, Logotherapy, Martin Seligman, meditation, mother, neuroscience, not good enough, peace, plasticity, psychiatrist, rejection, religion, search for meaning, Self Hypnosis, thoughts, trust, Vickor Frankl